Future Testimonials

35,412 Future Reviews

Move over 50 shades of grey and let me introduce you to 50 shades of brown.

Not a friend of the author

My 1 year old was instantly potty trained after reading this book.

Diaperless in Seattle

I was expecting a better plot line, this book was nothing more than a backdoor betty disguised as a poopsicle.

Karen

The poop looks fake.

Karen

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Bio's as written by our wives

(the real heroes of this story)

Tim

What can I say about my husband, he is the most wonderful brilliant man I've ever met. When I first met him he was a man of ideals and conviction. He cared about his family, had compassion for others and a natural gift for writing.... music. So naturally I figured he'd write a piece of music that inspired generations or work at the red cross helping those in need or something that doesn't drag our family name through a barrel of... you get the point He just had so much potential, and clearly that's what I've married.... potential as evidenced by this book. It just reeks of it, kind of like a Louisiana Hot Pocket on a Sunday. I suppose if he were try write a book this would be a natural fit because its about as apt a comparison of his mastery of the English language that I can think of. So please, please, please buy this pile of crap so that I can finally realize the potential that I married.

Brandon

When I met Brandon at 18 he was a nice, clean-shaven military boy straight out of the Marine Corps. He opened doors for me, he took me out on lovely dates and was a gentleman. I had no idea what was in store for me. Fast forward 20 years and we have a house and three kids and then Covid hits. All of a sudden I’m doing bed time alone because he has a “Business Meeting” with Tim and he has to be on a zoom call all night with a bottle of wine by his side. I should have known something was awry when all of a sudden all he could talk about was poop. Every animal he saw was poop. The search history on my google contained such filth as “size and feel of pig poop” and “what is the largest type of horse poop”. Nights. Weekends. Poop, poop poop. This is all I hear about from Brandon. PLEASE don’t buy this book, I’m begging you. I want my husband back, and I never want to hear about poop again! Please don’t buy this crappy book. Please!

More Future Testimonials

If Ernest Hemmingway had written a kids book, this would be it.

Not a friend of the author

What can I say about this book that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin or modern plumbing.

Not a friend of the author

I've read toilet paper that's more interesting.

Karen

A book this crappy should come with a free roll of 2-ply.

Karen

Everything looked good up until the horse. They poop way more than that.

Karen

Not since Michelangelo has art and anatomy so elegantly intertwined.

Not a friend of the author